A Pussy With A Screenplay In His Hand: Understanding “Shoot ‘Em Up”
Is that a carrot in your hand, or are you just happy to see me?

Note: I don’t usually write about things that I hate, because there’s really nothing productive that can come out of talking shit on the Internet. But for Shoot ‘Em Up, I will make a special exception, on the grounds that if I even convince one person not to see this movie, I might be able to stop some injustice in the world from going down.

When I went to the cast and crew screening of Shoot ‘Em Up last night, all I knew about the film was the scant information one can garner from the posters that are currently adorning our city: I knew I would be seeing two fairly well respected dramatic actors (Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti), holding guns, grimacing, and leaping through a nondescript urban backdrop, while Monica Bellucci (that Italian chick who Gaspar Noé cinematically raped in Irreversible) stands in the background showing off her sexy hourglass figure. With a name like “Shoot ‘Em Up,” the other thing you learn from glancing at the poster is that, whether intentionally or not, you’re in for a silly, if not down-right absurd action film.

What you may not garner from a glance at at the poster, or even by watching the relatively tame trailer, is that Shoot ‘Em Up is a completely fucked up, misogynistic, self-indulgent, hateful, and downright retarded piece of shit. Let me explain. There’s nothing innately wrong with gratuitous violence. For example: Quentin Tarantino, John Woo, Park Chan-wook and Takashi Miike are just a handful of modern filmmakers who employ over-the-top cinematic violence in clever, intelligent, and emotionally resonant ways. It can even be fun to watch violence-filled popcorn movies that have no real artistic credibility, which is exactly how I approached Shoot ‘Em Up as I entered the theater– prepared to share some thrills and a few laughs with my friends. Then, the lights dimmed.

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10 comments | Movies | posted on August 31, 2007 at 10:08 pm
Who Doesn’t Love T-Shirts?
6 comments | Fashion | posted on August 29, 2007 at 5:03 pm
Jens Lekman

  Jens Lekman’s lyrics could make the farthest-gone religious extremists put down their guns and stones and roll around in a field of daisies, releasing the tensions of their confused souls like twelve year old girls getting pap smeared by Zac Efron. Jens Lekman’s dreamy pop melodies could make Anne Frank rise from the dead to join Hitler as grand marshal of a perfectly choreographed parade down the streets of Baghdad, peopled by dead Iraqi civilians and rich American congressmen.

Aside from the aforementioned healing powers of Mr. Lekman’s music, it also has the power to woo. If you’ve never fallen in love with a song, you haven’t listened to Jens Lekman. Be careful not to break your fragile kneecaps when you fall to the ground, swooning at the beauty of Lekman’s melancholy joy. I don’t want to get into hyperbole here, but you might experience a feeling of rapture when you put on a Jens Lekman album. You could even come in your pants, so it’s useful to keep a clean pair of underwear at hand when listening.

Lekman understands the glory of sentimentality. Going beyond camp, Lekman takes the trite into a place of transcendence. One of his classic hits, the Rocky Dennis EP, revisits the well-treaded ground of Peter Bogdanovich’s 1985 drama Mask, the true story of an (otherwise) normal southern Californian teenager who suffers from a severely disfiguring bone disorder. As if that weren’t bad enough, his mom is a struggling alcoholic biker played by Cher. The film itself is an undeniable tear-jerker, and a poignant, well-crafted one at that. Lekman’s suite of songs, the first one written from the perspective of the film’s unfortunate teenage hero, are just as moving as the seminal melodrama, and even more complex in their layers of emotional intrigue.

Jens’s songs are about unrequited love, nostalgia, romantic vignettes, Sweden, anarchism, first kisses and wild fantasies. He’s been compared to Morrissey, but I think that’s because Morrissey is, like, the nightmare doppelgänger of Jens Lekman. He’s more like a less apprehensive Stuart Murdoch, or Stephin Merritt without the ‘tude. And he has an amazing new album coming out in the U.S., called Night Falls Over Kortedala, where he turns all epic 70’s disco-orchestral. Check it out when it hits stores October 9th!


Listen to “Kanske Ar Jag Kar I Dig” by Jens Lekman [download]

Listen to “Rocky Dennis’ Farewell Song” by Jens Lekman [download]
3 comments | Music | posted on August 28, 2007 at 9:39 pm
Hella Gay Miscellany

 

    Media Cruiser is an addicting new blog written by my iPhone Line-cutting friend Andrew. It’s a symposium of articles on vastly incongruous matters of pop culture and politics, addressing the inane and the sublime from a queer perspective.

From the politics of pedophile-hunting to female rappers singing about their pussies, Media Cruiser weaves together a unique image of the gestalt of our era.

Oh, and also you can listen to original songs from “Golden Girls” episodes, like Sophia’s classic, “Thanks for the Medicare”.

 

The hypnotically handsome Rudy Bleu (who also happens to be my boyfriend) and his sultry co-DJ Cody Wayne throw a monthly party at Pehrspace in Echo Park. It’s called Outré, and it’s for sure the most un-pretentious fun music kick-back homo-friendly dance party in all of L.A. County.

This month they celebrated Rudy’s birthday with a 70’s porn-themed party and guest DJs Jeremy Scott, Daniel Pineda of Laco$te, and DJ Total Freedom. Check out the pictures on Sean Carnage’s blog, and come out to dance with us next month. Friday, September 21st!

Speaking of Rudy’s birthday, the picture at the top of this post is an image of the rad gift he was given by CalArts wunderkind Patrick S. It’s a hand-bottled “creature of unknown origins,” floating in a sea of paprika.

         
Cody Wayne, Rudy Bleu, and Jeremy Scott looking fierce at the turntables.

 

       

Listen to “Everybody’s Talkin’” by Nilsson [download]

I finally got around to watching John Schlesinger’s classic Midnight Cowboy recently, and fell in love with it. It’s so epic and stylistically ahead of its time, and simultaneously so encapsulating of its era. The performances are stunning, and it makes my heart weep to think of the strange old man Jon Voight has become, now that he’s taking supporting roles in Bratz: The Movie.

The music is also amazing, most notably the theme song performed by Harry Nilsson, “Everybody’s Talkin’”. I can listen to that song for hours on end!

In other news, I’m going to be putting up some photos on the walls of uber-cool downtown venue The Smell this Friday. I’m not sure how long they’ll be up, so come check them out this weekend!

3 comments | Movies, Night Life, The Internet | posted on August 27, 2007 at 10:53 am
No Controles

 

No Controles” is an extremely versatile Spanish-language pop song. It was written by Nacho Cano of the band Mecano (follow the link for one of their awesome videos) for Spanish new wave group Olé Olé (below, left).

After that song took off in Spain, Mexican pop girl-group Flans covered it and created the truly mind-blowing video to our right to accompany the single.

More recently, the truly rad Mexican alternative group Café Tacuba released a rock and roll cover version. The video is boring, but I’ve included it (below, right) simply so that you can listen that titillating reworking of this amazing tune.

4 comments | Music, Video | posted on August 22, 2007 at 9:11 am
More Rad Video Art: The New Jedi Order

Johnny Rogers and Shalo P. are San Francisco Art Institute expatriates touring California right now with their video art cabaret act, The New Jedi Order. With the aid of a projector, an olde thyme iBook, a ghetto blaster and a Coby DVD player, these two shifty-eyed geniuses are wreaking havoc on the west coast. I was lucky enough to see their performance in the comfort of my own living room last night.

Like Animal Charm on crack, NJO’s videos are mash-ups of pop culture references strangely familiar and hauntingly foreign. Footage from a buggy video game console flashes on the screen in between clips of news footage and blurry 3-D animations. They draw links between Home Alone and 9/11, Lord of the Rings and “Twin Peaks”, LensCrafters commercials and cultural dissonance.

Johnny and Shalo themselves preform brief sketches while the videos play, as characters like “Professor Post-Morrissey” or “Gandalf bin Laden”. Johnny channels the video for Depeche Mode’s “Enjoy the Silence” (as seen in the header picture for this post), accompanied by a distorted MIDI version of the song. At one point, a makeshift rave breaks out.

It’s an all around good time! If you get a chance to check them out, they’re preforming at Cinefile tomorrow night, in Santa Cruz on Thursday, and San Francisco this weekend. You can check out the schedule here.

2 comments | Art | posted on August 14, 2007 at 10:16 am
The 90’s, Self-Examination, and Shana Moulton


Listen to “My Ex-Guru” by The Fiery Furnaces [download]

I have known the aging to gripe at the prospect of something turning from contemporary to nostalgic. How many early 40-somethings rolled their eyes when the aesthetic of the 1980s came back into vogue, declaring it a period of history so dark it wasn’t worth recalling– not even ironically?

Because it hit so close to home for them, there was no way they could understand the inherent value of New Wave music so cheap that it was priceless, the quaintness of high school films so unrealistic that they became classics, the unrelenting hodge-podge of weird fashion, or the alluring mystery of a decade’s muddled values only a few steps removed from our own cultural confusion. It must have been hard for those who couldn’t escape the apparent idiocy that the youth was now electing to celebrate to understand what anyone could see in that decade.

Now they have something else to complain about. In the past few years, the signs and symbols of the another decade have crept back into our consciousness, as every day of George W.’s reign puts distance between ourselvesand the day-glo 90’s.

I know I’m not the only one who’s been enthusiastically revisiting the biker shorts and youthful optimism of “Beverly Hills 90210″ as the early seasons have begun to creep into the DVD market. White-framed sunglasses are all the rage, and artists like Paper Rad are exploiting strangeness of early 90’s tech-art for all that it’s worth. It was on an amazing DVD compilation called Cartune Xprez, which features some of Paper Rad’s animations, that I came across the work of video artist Shana Moulton.

Shana Moulton clearly understands the allure of 90’s imagery. Her static, staged short films use a palette of pastel neons to portray the sinister and hysterical implications of a new age sensibility that screams “early 90’s”. But Moulton’s work is far from a base parody of antiquated new age trends– it just uses that eerily familiar imagery as a foil for commentary on our alienating, rapidly changing culture. There is a sense of muffled frustration here. Moulton is like a less explicit Miranda July, casting herself as a quiet woman trying to find inner peace in all the wrong places.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t laugh at the Lisa Frank-esque world Moulton has painted herself within, or take delight in her vigorous chugging of a glass of Crystal Light. Says Moulton, “I aim to create worlds in which the goofily fantastic and the humiliatingly banal brush against each other and where the body’s boundaries can be expanded to include strange fantasy worlds through the infinite capacity of the mind.” So just relax, plug in your electric waterfall, and enjoy the videos.

post a comment | Art, Video | posted on August 13, 2007 at 7:59 pm
What I’ve Been Up To Lately

Flip over my bike’s handlebars while zooming down Vermont Ave. during massive group bike-ride Midnight Ridazz. Sprain wrist, upper arm, and tear open the above-pictured love handle gash. Also, that picture was taken on day three of recovery, so it’s already died down a bit.

In retrospect, absentmindedly tapping your front brake while going downhill probably isn’t the smartest idea.

Book a print ad for a Toyota teen driving course in a bizarre audition in which I am instructed to skip towards the photographer while interlocking my arms with two teenage girls I’ve never met.

Spend seven hours in the enormous, empty, steaming parking lot of the Santa Anita Race Track waiting for the shoot to go down (the photographer likes golden hour).

 
Go on an audition for an anti-drug PSA in which I have to mime as if I’m deliriously tugging on the tail of a miniature Shetland pony, and then peer-pressuring my friends into doing the same.

On the first audition this nonsense is apparently comedic, but on the callback it is explained that this should be played with utter sincerity.

The morning after wiping out on my bike, wake up at 7:30 to drive to Whittier and be duct-taped to a chair for three hours as part of a short film in which I play a hapless teenage convenience store clerk being robbed by two guys donning fake mullets.

Leave the set early to drive all the way back to the Miracle Mile, pick up my Hollywood executive boss, and give her a ride to the eye doctor, where I help her pick sunglasses.

Now look at an assortment of random recent photos after the jump!

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5 comments | Life, Photo, Work | posted on August 13, 2007 at 4:09 pm
Ashley Goldberg’s Bearded Men

Ashley Goldberg is a Los Angeles-based artist who makes unbearably cute illustrations that are shockingly cheap, writes a blog about it, and draws the raddest pictures of bearded men. She makes dozens of drawings like the ones above of adorably sleepy-eyed gents with beards and moustaches of all different varieties.

Her work is being shown right now at Gallery Revisited in Silver Lake, along with new work from Michael C. Hsiung, who I recently posted about. Hsiung harbors his own glorious fascination with bearded dudes– often of the moncale-sporting merman variety. Beards forever! Check out the show before it ends on September 1st– they’ve got some great stuff up. I swung by the opening on Saturday and took some pictures, which you can check out after the jump.

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2 comments | Art, Los Angeles | posted on August 6, 2007 at 8:10 am
Owls, Dolls, Angels and Foxes

The following photos are from a remote desert valley, creepy Palmdale gift shops, a Teena Marie show, a Ryan Trecartin movie that was shot in our living room, a local park, Ooga Booga, and a neighbor’s backyard house party. Click on the jump to see them all. Enjoy!

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11 comments | Life, Photo | posted on August 5, 2007 at 2:13 pm
Stuart Works on a Puzzle (With Help From Sarah)

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1 comment | Life, Photo | posted on August 5, 2007 at 8:46 am
New Photographers I Like

Alec Soth

Justin James Reed

Casey Orr

Danny Boardman
2 comments | Art, Photo | posted on August 2, 2007 at 12:07 pm
Podcast #10: A Tribute to Dwight Dukes by DJ Dog Tones

[subscribe to the podcast in iTunes]
Right click and save to download Podcast #10 [25:29 | 29.1mb]

My friend Ben from high school goes by the name Dog Tones when he’s spinning vinyl, which is quite frequently these days. Ben is the general manager of UC Davis’ radio station, KDVS, and somehow finds time to host his own show on the station, Thee Funk Terminal. When I make a podcast, all I do is lump a bunch of good songs into one big file. Ben, fancy-pants that he is, took the time to layer and sample from a plethora of sources, resulting in a truly rich aural experience. To give you some insight into the mind of Dog Tones, here is dream he had last night, starring Snoop Dogg:


I was hanging out with him at some party really late at night and he was really fucked up. I put on this beat from his album and even though he could barely stand up without wobbling around, he instantly began to rap to his song when he heard it. And he did a really dope freestyle that was amazing and reminded me of Wu Tang or something. I was just so impressed that he did a really awesome freestyle on instinct even though he obviously could barely tell what was going on.


Check out the track listing after the jump!

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4 comments | Podcast | posted on August 1, 2007 at 12:02 am